Relapse

Here's some background: for a while now, I've been dealing with stuff in my personal walk with Christ.
I touched on this in my post about Romans 7. Struggling for months, and then I go on a mission trip in Chicago. I'm positive that if I could've dealt with it before Chicago12, god could've done a lot more with me, but I was unable. Or maybe I didn't really want to. Regardless, I got back on Monday. I was sitting on the couch, on my iPod. I saw a link that piqued my interest, so I click on it. As it's loading, I feel a tug on my heart, and suddenly realize, "This is exactly what I was promising, no, vowing, to put behind me this very morning!"
I just spent a wee serving others, and I almost went back to my selfish ways less than an hour after I got back. I believe that if not for Him holding me back, I would've fallen...hard.
And so I truly owe it All to Him.